As a parent, I’ve often grappled with societal expectations of what it means to be “good enough.” In my case, being a good mom doesn’t mean being available 24/7. Don’t get me wrong – I’m there for my kids far more often than not. I’ve mastered the art of juggling, rearranging schedules, and making myself available for school activities, doctor’s visits, and even the occasional forgotten lunch or sweatshirt.

But I’m not always home. I have passions, dreams, and adventures that I refuse to put on the backburner. I believe with every fiber of my being that pursuing my own joy doesn’t make me a lesser parent; in fact, it makes me a better one.

The old-school notion that good parents must constantly sacrifice their own needs and desires is, in my opinion, antiquated. I don’t want my four daughters to grow up believing that putting others first requires diminishing oneself. I want them to see me living a life that’s full, not just existing for the sake of others.

That means sometimes I’m the mom scheduling doctor’s appointments from a Parisian café or FaceTiming in for bedtime stories from a different time zone. It means teaching my girls that with a little creativity and a lot of love, they can have a mom who is both present and pursuing her passions.

I’ve paid a price for this lifestyle, undoubtedly. There have been missed moments, feelings of guilt, and the constant tightrope walk of work and family. But the rewards far outweigh the costs. My girls are growing into independent, confident young women who, I hope, see their mother as a role model, not just a caregiver.

I hope they are learning to problem-solve, be self-sufficient, and to understand that love knows no bounds – not of time or distance. And that pursuing joy is a fundamental part of a happy, healthy life.

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On Growth and Change

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