The Journal

The importance of having a tribe.

Today I want to share something with you that I don’t think people talk about enough. This is one of the biggest myths out there.

I could never do it “all” without my tribe.

That’s right, my tribe, my people, my personal board of directors. My partner told me recently that I juggle all the balls better than anybody she’s ever known, and I make it look easy. While that is a really fantastic compliment, I am here to tell you I could not do it without my tribe.

So, who, you may ask, is my tribe?

Well, my partner, who’s a complete badass, and encourages me constantly. She asks me for advice (this is important because it means she values my opinion and it gives me a sense of worth) and gives me guidance. My friends, the ones who drive my kids to birthday parties and bring them home from school so that I can run a workshop or attend an event with one of my other children. The friends who reach out with a call or text simply to say “You are on my mind. You matter.” The friends who sit with me in quiet and the ones that take me out for a much needed grown-up meal. My marketing guru, my designer, my web developer, my copy editor, my mastermind group – – the team of people that keeps me functioning at my highest level, because let’s face it: I can’t do it all.

Recognizing that you cannot do it all is key. Figure out what you do really well and then do that thing. Delegate the rest to someone else. You know what I’m really good at? I’m really good at being a coach. I’m really good at giving motivational talks and facilitating workshops and learning experiences. I am really good at planning events. I’m also really good at knowing who else is really good at their job. So, I put people in positions to do their magic. Allowing experts to play an active role on my team makes me look good. They are smart! They elevate me. They help me level up. I trust them, and they trust me. We work together collaboratively as a team.

On the business end, I call them my board of directors, the people I go to when I need to flush out an idea or pursue some new, crazy thing that I’ve just come up with. The ones who say yes when I send an email and say, “Oh my God, can you help me with this thing right now?” I own my own business – and I have a team – but I’m not a big corporation. It’s not a team like you would find in the Google offices. That does not make them any less “my team” and it does not make them any less valuable. They are my board of directors. They come through every single time, no matter what. And I have a tribe. A personal tribe. The people that simply make sure I am able to get it all done. They enable me to “do it all.”

I am always acutely aware of my tribe and how much I depend on them but the best part of having a tribe is being a tribe member. When the opportunity arises for me to rise up and help them in return, I do so joyously, graciously and with enthusiasm. It is important to ask powerfully so you enable others to give graciously.  I have certainly nailed down the “ask powerfully” part. I long ago gave up the notion that asking for help made me weak. Instead, I realized that asking for help actually gives me strength and a place of empowerment. It gives me the confidence to know that I can get it all done. Still, my favorite part is the “give graciously.” My tribe gives graciously over and over and over again, and I love the opportunity to pay it forward.

So, I ask of you now, do you have a tribe? Do you have a personal board of directors, even though you’re not a big corporation? If you don’t, I suggest you get one immediately, right now, the second you finish reading this post. I promise you, it will change your life!

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