A reflection on healing, boundaries, and letting people have their own opinions

There are a lot of people who don’t “get me.”
They look at my work like it’s some curious little experiment. They watch the way I run my business and can’t fathom why I’d choose intuition over hustle, alignment over urgency, joy over pressure. They hear me talk about healing, energy, boundaries, and embodied leadership and… well, you can practically see the confusion ripple across their faces.

For a long time, I took that personally.
I thought their confusion meant I was off somehow — too weird, too intense, too woo, too much. I twisted myself into knots trying to translate who I was into something more palatable, more digestible, more “professional” according to people who were following outdated rules about how life and leadership are supposed to work.

But somewhere along my own healing journey, something shifted.
It wasn’t dramatic. There wasn’t a big aha moment or cosmic drumroll. It was more like a quiet internal click — the kind you only notice when you’re already halfway through a conversation and suddenly realize… you’re not bracing anymore.

And that’s when I understood:
The people who don’t get me are the ones still operating inside the old patriarchal model. They’re clinging to systems that tell them to push harder, stay small, stay agreeable, stay numb. They haven’t yet decided to step out of that framework, and maybe they won’t. That’s their path.

And trying to make myself understandable to someone who hasn’t done the work to understand themselves?
That’s a losing game I no longer have any interest in playing.

There’s a saying that if someone is upset by your boundaries, it’s because they’re mad you won’t let them take advantage of you anymore. And truly, that checks out. Some people don’t get me because I no longer give them unlimited access to my energy, my time, or my emotional labor. And I’m no longer apologizing for that.

The truth is, I don’t get worked up about much anymore.
Not because I’m heartless or unfeeling.
Not because I’m detached.
But because I finally understand that my energy isn’t free — and it’s not meant to be spent carelessly.

If I’m going to pour my energy into something, it better matter.
It better be aligned.
It better contribute to healing, growth, or genuine connection.
Otherwise, it’s simply not worth the cost.

And honestly, the older version of me — the one who lived for people-pleasing and gold stars — would be stunned to see how calm I am now. That version thought safety lived in being understood by everyone. This version knows safety lives in being true to myself, even when others don’t understand.

That’s the gift of healing: eventually, the things that used to unravel you don’t even make you blink.

And because of that, I get to support conscious leaders all over the world — people who are ready to question the old rules, rewrite their stories, and stop outsourcing their worth. I’m not here to be the expert with all the answers. That’s not my job. My job is to help them uncover their own answers, their own power, their own voice.

Because once you realize you don’t need to be understood by everyone, you finally become available to yourself.
And that… that’s where the real expansion begins.

So now, when someone doesn’t get me, I don’t shrink or soften or scramble to make myself easier to digest. I take it as evidence that I’m living in alignment instead of expectation. I take it as proof that I’ve outgrown the need to be understood by people who aren’t even trying to understand themselves.

And that’s exactly the place I help my clients get to.

Because when you stop carrying everyone else’s projections, when you stop twisting yourself into shapes that were never meant for you, when you stop centering your worth around how others perceive you… everything in your life opens up. Your voice gets clearer. Your boundaries get stronger. Your nervous system relaxes. Your joy stops being optional. And for the first time in a long time, you feel like you’re actually living your life — not the one you inherited, not the one you were conditioned to believe you “should” want.

This is the work I do every day with conscious leaders, entrepreneurs, and humans who are done with the pressure-filled way of living and ready for something more honest, more grounded, more aligned, more pleasurable. Meanwhile, check out this video below:

Emotional Sovereignty & Identity Freedom

Feelings are not facts. Build emotional resilience, create abundance, and step into empowered living with mindful transformation tools. Check this out, Feelings Are Just Feelings—You Decide What They Mean.

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If you’re feeling the pull to step into this kind of inner steadiness — the kind where being misunderstood doesn’t threaten you anymore — there are a few ways to begin:

✨ Join me at my weekly live show, Live with Heather Vickery, every Thursday at 12pm CT
where we talk about radical self-trust, boundaries, healing, and what it actually looks like to live with EASE

✨ Come to my Tuesday Ask Me Anything office hours
a free, open space where you can bring your questions, your blocks, your stuck places, and get real support

✨ Or explore a deeper level of transformation through coaching, a Subconscious Shift Session, or my upcoming retreats

You don’t have to keep living by old rules that never served you.
You get to choose a new way forward.
One that honors you.
One that feels like truth.
One that makes room for your whole self.

And if you want support as you step into that version of your life, I’d be honored to walk with you.