And why neither requires perfection

People often believe that confidence means having it all together and knowing what to say. Getting it right all the time. Being sure and being in control.

But that version of confidence is often rooted in performance, not truth.
It’s what we’ve been taught to value: polish, certainty, perfection, dominance.

This is an outdated approach to confidence.
The big, strong, powerful… man. Why is it always a man?
And if it’s a woman? She’s not considered confident. She’s bossy or a nag.

This outdated belief in confidence is about being the loudest, the smartest, the most certain person in the room. Never making mistakes. Controlling every detail so nothing can go wrong and blaming everyone else when something does go wrong.

I call bullshit on all of it.

That’s not actually confidence. That’s fear in a power suit. It’s a lack of self-awareness and often a facade for insecurity.

What if confidence were actually a soft skill?
(I dislike that term, but it’s one most people know. I personally believe that the soft skills are the ones that matter most and make us the strongest, bravest people.)

Real confidence is quieter. It’s steadier.
It’s trusting yourself, not because you always have the answer, but because you know you’ll find your way.

True confidence sounds and feels like this:
I trust myself to speak up, even if my voice shakes.
I trust myself to take up space without apology.
I trust myself to make mistakes and still be worthy.
I trust myself enough to change my mind.

Confidence isn’t about being right. It’s about being rooted.

And when you find that kind of self-trust, and stop outsourcing your worth to performance or perfection, you unlock something deeper: joy.

Because joy and confidence are deeply linked.

When you feel confident, joy becomes more accessible. You stop bracing for impact. You allow rest, pleasure, and connection. You feel safer with yourself, and that internal safety makes room for joy.

And when you prioritize joy, not just fleeting happiness, but real, embodied joy, you build confidence. Because you remember who you are. You create evidence that you can live fully without needing to prove anything.

Confidence supports joy.
Joy nurtures confidence.
They make each other more possible.

You don’t need to wait until you feel ready.
You don’t need to do more, be more, or fix anything before you’re allowed to feel good.

You’re allowed to be confident and joyful now.

And if you want support with that, I’ve got tools for you.

If this speaks to you, you might explore:

• A Subconscious Shift Session with me to uncover and rewire the hidden patterns keeping you from trusting yourself
  
• A Human Design Subliminal Audio created just for you, to support your unique energetic alignment
  
• Or join me for the Reclaim Your Peace Retreat in Costa Rica, a 6-day immersive experience for folks who are ready to lead from rest, intuition, and embodied clarity
  

These aren’t quick fixes. They’re invitations to return to yourself.
To trust more.
To feel more.
To create a life that feels like yours.

---

Consider these reflective questions:

• Where have you been mistaking control for confidence?
  
• What’s one way you could let joy lead, even just for an afternoon?
  
• Where are you ready to trust yourself a little more?

In the meantime, check out this video below.

True Confidence as a Pathway to Joy

Debunk The Confidence Myth: Learn to own your power, embrace abundance, and create alignment for empowered living and joyful success. Check this out, The Confidence Myth That’s Keeping You Stuck

---

Need a reminder that you’re not alone on this journey?

Come hang out during my weekly “Ask Me Anything Office Hours” or join for my weekly live show. The work is deep, but the joy is real—and you’re invited to feel it with me.