We’ve all been there. On the receiving end of a “joke” that left us feeling a little less than entertained  – In the words of philosopher Taylor Swift “And we can all laugh until I cry.” A playful jab from a friend or loved that hit a bit too close to home. Teasing, masked as humor, but with a subtle sting that lingered long after the laughter faded.

Teasing. It’s a complex dance we often engage in, sometimes as the one dishing it out, other times as the one on the receiving end. On the surface, it may seem harmless, a lighthearted way to poke fun and connect. But all too often, it crosses a line into something more insidious – a way of asserting power, highlighting differences, and making others feel less than.

When we tease, even in a lighthearted way, we create a subtle hierarchy. The “teaser” stands above, the one teased, below. It’s a power dynamic, often with a sting we downplay as “just joking.” But those on the receiving end may experience it as a prickling feeling of inadequacy, a sense of not quite measuring up.

What if we shifted this dynamic? Instead of teasing, what if we chose to truly listen, to accept without condition or qualification? To embrace the unique qualities and quirks that make each of us who we are? To be conscious and aware of  how our words, actions and behaviors effect other instead of telling people we care about (or even strangers) to “lighten up, it’s just a joke” ?

Acceptance is a powerful fertilizer for growth. When we feel safe to be ourselves, without fear of judgment or belittling, we open up. We blossom. We share our ideas, our dreams, our authentic selves. And in this sharing, we find connection – a sense of belonging that feeds the soul.

This isn’t about never having fun at the expense of another, or walking on eggshells, afraid to speak. It’s about awareness. Recognizing when our words may have a sharper edge than we intend. It’s about choosing to uplift instead of subtly tear down.

Imagine the shift if we replaced teasing with genuine curiosity. Instead of mocking someone’s passion, we asked to learn more. Instead of joking about a misstep, we offered support. In doing so, we’d create a garden of acceptance, where everyone has the space to grow.

For in acceptance, we find joy. We find the freedom to be, without the weight of constant self-doubt. We find the courage to pursue our dreams, to share our talents with the world. And in this open, expansive place, love – for ourselves and others – can truly flourish.

This realization was driven home for by a specific passage in Camille T. Dungy’s poignant memoir “Soil: The Story of a Black Mother’s Garden.” The book is a poignant, powerful, and at times heartbreaking exploration of motherly love, identity, and the longing for roots and belonging. Its beauty lies in its raw honesty and the ways it challenges readers to reflect on their own relationships with the world around them.

Dungy lays bare the complex, often heartbreaking journey of nurturing growth amidst challenging soil. Her words served as a powerful reminder of the ways we must tend to our relationships with the same care and intention we give to a fragile seedling.

Let’s make a pact to nurture acceptance, to be the sunshine and water that allows those around us to bloom. Let’s choose connection over teasing, and watch as joy takes root in our lives and the lives of those we touch. Check out this video below!

On Reflection and Perspective

Join me as I share how embracing failure with self-compassion led to healing and growth, and how you can trust yourself to create abundance. Check this out, That Time I Failed at Yoga.