Reframe your thinking 101

Is there an area of struggle or lack that you’re experiencing right now? Or a circumstance in your life that you would like to change?

If so, I invite you to consider a possibility…

What if your circumstance is being perpetuated by the way you’re thinking or speaking about yourself and your experiences?

Each person views their world through a different, unique lens that is influenced by their lived experiences, ideas, concepts, emotions, etc.

By reassessing these elements and choosing to live more intentionally, you can actually begin to reshape and reframe this lens by which you view the world.

And, when you can reframe your thinking, in both your personal life and as a leader or business-owner, you can finally begin to create the reality you desire.

Reframing is not always easy but it is always worth it! The work starts by understanding the weight that your words carry.

Words matter

You might not always be able to see it, but your words matter and they have the power to shape your reality and what manifests in your life. This works in both the negative and the positive! 

I’m talking about the words you frequently use to describe: events, experiences, circumstances—EVERYTHING!

It matters because these words ultimately become accepted as TRUTH by your subconscious mind. Yup. Your words actually have the power to override the objective truth in your life.

The fact of the matter is: it makes no difference what the “truth” is. What actually matters is what your subconscious mind BELIEVES—and it will believe whatever you choose to tell it.  So reframe your thinking!

For example, if your imposter syndrome is constantly saying: “I’m not good enough. I’m not good enough,” then your subconscious mind will believe that and act accordingly, attracting more of the experiences, people, etc. that fit within that belief.

So, think of the possibilities and the sheer POWER you’d hold if you decided to wake up every single day, look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself how capable, worthy and badass you are! I get chills just thinking about it. 

The words that you choose can help bring you more abundance into your life. If you want to create a life that you actually love living, it’s time to start being mindful of the words you’re speaking!

Failure is a necessity, not a nuisance

For many, when it comes to reframing, how we speak and think about failure is a huge opportunity for improvement and growth.

The traditional notion of failure is a mark of shame that says “you didn’t hit your desired mark, you wasted your time and energy, therefore, you’re not good enough—game over.”

When the truth is, it’s impossible to achieve any real success without “failing.” 

I always say “if you’re not failing, you’re not trying hard enough!” If you’re showing up, trying new things, being creative and putting yourself out there – there will be failures – and that’s also the only way for there to be successes!

Aiming outside your comfort zone and “failing” to meet your own expectations actually moves you closer to your goals than if you were to “achieve” something easily within reach.

When you look at it like this you realize, failure actually sets you up for success.

Any successful person will tell you that you HAVE to embrace the fact that you WILL “fail.” You WILL fall short. And that’s okay! In fact, this is the most beautiful part of your success journey and learning experience.

Reframing your thoughts and choosing to welcome these moments takes a little of the sting out and helps you bounce back faster (resilience for the win!)

Read more about how to leverage failure for personal growth.

Examples of reframing

Here are a few more major mindset shifts you can make to radically change your life and give you control over your reality…

Find the bright side ➡ Find meaning

There is a point to which positivity, for the sake of positivity, becomes toxic. Mark Manson in The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck  said it best:

“Everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative experience. Any attempt to escape the negative, to avoid it or quash it or silence it, only backfires. The avoidance of suffering is a form of suffering. The avoidance of struggle is a struggle. The denial of failure is a failure. Hiding what is shameful is itself a form of shame.

I’m fearless ➡ I’m brave

Someone who is fearless runs blindly and recklessly towards a goal, ignoring their feelings in the process. Someone who is brave, acknowledges and leans into their fears, leveraging them as a strength. 

It’s not impressive to be fearless, in fact, it’s unrealistic. We all have fears, it’s about how we move THROUGH them with the knowledge that we are in control. That’s what makes us brave.

Defeated ➡ Empowered
Stuck ➡ Limitless 
+ SO many more

The stories that we tell ourselves are just that: stories. What we say to ourselves in our heads can hugely impact the way we perceive our lives and our self-worth. By becoming more mindful of these stories, you have the power to create a reality that manifests joy, contentment and self-love.

As the Buddha said, “We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.”

What reframing techniques have impacted your life? Reach out to me—let’s talk about it!

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About the Author

Heather Vickery
Heather Vickery
Heather Vickery is an award-winning business owner and global leader with over 20 years as an entrepreneur. She leverages her entrepreneurial skills and expertise to coach individuals towards greater personal and professional fulfillment by helping them leverage their fear into intentional bravery. Heather says “When we choose bravely, on purpose, we choose bigger, have bigger successes and it’s contagious” A celebrated public speaker, Heather inspires audiences and empowers attendees with the tools they need to live bold and successful lives through creating balance, time management, mindfulness, as well as countless systems, strategies, and boundaries. She’s the author of Gratitude Journal: Shift Your Focus and Grow Grateful: A Gratitude Journal for Kids and Families. Heather is also the host and executive producer of The Brave Files Podcast.