How I Successfully Live with Fear

A few weeks ago, I held my breath as I hit send on the first, very messy, draft of my new book to a few Beta readers from all different corners of my life.

I was terrified. I had ALL the fears. Imposter syndrome struck hard. 

Would it suck? What business did I have thinking I could write a full-length book (somehow even the two other books I have published didn’t give me peace of mind). Would they hate it? Am I a good writer? What if they all came back and said “maybe you shouldn’t do this.?”

Then, feedback slowly started streaming in. And, you know what? They didn’t hate it. In fact, they actually LIKED it! I got great, constructive feedback that re-energized my excitement for birthing my book baby out into the world and things started falling into place.

It was equal parts exciting AND terrifying. But, deep down, I knew my voice mattered. And I felt called to share what I believe would make an impact on others. 

People don’t always share the behind-the-scenes worries of their highlight reel, or milestone moments. But, as humans, we ALL experience them in some way or another.

I’m here to normalize fear and remind you that it’s NOT a sign of weakness or incompetence. In fact, when you learn to let it in and embrace it, it can be a healthy reminder that you are growing, stretching and expanding. So, here are the lessons I have learned over the years that have helped me successfully live with my fears.

Fear and courage are not mutually exclusive.

You can be scared AND brave at the same time. By being honest and vulnerable with yourself and others about how you’re feeling, you’ll be able to hold space for both of those feelings and continue to navigate forward. 

Use my book writing process as an example. I was flipping terrified. It almost felt like I had a heavy rock tied around my waist as I pushed through the mental and emotional pain of taking this book through the editing process. 

But, I knew that speaking my truth, asking for accountability, support and extra patience (of myself and others) would get me through it.

Don’t wait for the “right time” – it will never come.

If you have a “someday” dream, do yourself a favor and think about what could be possible if you decided to start taking imperfect action and building it NOW. 

When I first dreamed of my group coaching program, Intentionally Brave Entrepreneurs, I felt like I needed to have every single thing in place—perfect branding, perfect marketing and a fool-proof plan—before I could begin to sell and service folks. 

But, my own coach had a different plan in mind for me. She challenged me to set a launch date, build the bones and use the first cohort as a beta group to help me work through the kinks. That way, I could ensure the program had what it needed to really, truly serve. 

So, that’s what I did. The program looks so much different than I ever could have imagined, but it’s also so much better than my wildest dreams! What’s really stopping you?

A lot of times, success looks like failing forwards.

In my Failure is the New Success post, I talk a lot about failure and how to shift your perspective to view it as part of your growth process, instead of a setback. 

The more we try the more we learn, the more we learn the more we know, the more we know the more confident we become. And that’s how we’re able to create real change in the world and lives of others. 

TRUTH MOMENT: At the end of the day, the world keeps turning—whether you choose to take imperfect, inspired action despite your fears or not. Nobody will miss a beat if you keep listening to your limiting voices and letting them hold you back from claiming your power. 

But, imagine the impact you can have on the world if you DO choose to step out, despite the fear, and claim your power. 

I’ve long said fear either owns you or empowers you. You can either let your fear strangle your potential OR you can leverage that fear into a momentum that moves you towards your goals and your dream life.

Honestly, the choice is yours. You hold all the cards here. The question is, are you going to play your hand or play it safe?

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About the Author

Heather Vickery
Heather Vickery
Heather Vickery is an award-winning business owner and global leader with over 20 years as an entrepreneur. She leverages her entrepreneurial skills and expertise to coach individuals towards greater personal and professional fulfillment by helping them leverage their fear into intentional bravery. Heather says “When we choose bravely, on purpose, we choose bigger, have bigger successes and it’s contagious” A celebrated public speaker, Heather inspires audiences and empowers attendees with the tools they need to live bold and successful lives through creating balance, time management, mindfulness, as well as countless systems, strategies, and boundaries. She’s the author of Gratitude Journal: Shift Your Focus and Grow Grateful: A Gratitude Journal for Kids and Families. Heather is also the host and executive producer of The Brave Files Podcast.